I am annoyed by the couple across from me at the

coffee shop. The dude is tattooed, muscular, with a

trendy buzz cut. He wears worker clothes, but probably

works retail. She is blonde and pretty with glasses and

wears too much makeup. They are a beautiful couple. I

hate beautiful couples. They’re done with their coffee-

and-sandwiches and are touching each other

affectionately and making cute couple talk. I want to

peek up from my notebook and yell: GO FUCK ALREADY.